Good Ship Lollypop

Have you ever woke up and didn’t know where you were? Or wake up and think you’ve missed work, or a test or an important interview? Have you looked around your room and not recognize it?

I have.


I believe that the mind truly travels while in a sleep mode, sometimes my travels can be so far, and so deep that once I return even my familiar becomes unfamiliar.

I’m no dream interpreter and I have failed to speak to any that have correctly analyzed my dreams, because truth be told there is a lot of ish going on. I’ve been re-experiencing my past a lot, fighting demons, seeing airships (ufos, etc) and I guess it all comes back to what is going on in my life right now. Well lets see, getting over my past (divorce), fighting demons (family challenges, outside influence, financial woes, muthufuckas), seeing airships (the promise of new beginnings, excitement, delight, anticipation that all I truly believe in will come true).

Yeah, sometimes I wake up and I don’t know where the hell I am…but I seem to know where I’m heading.

What say you fam? Do you internalize? Or is every day like the “Good Ship Lollypop.”

-"On the Good Ship Lollipop" was the trademark song of child actress Shirley Temple. Temple first sang it in the 1934 movie Bright Eyes. Contrary to popular belief, the ship in the song is an aircraft. In the song, the "Good Ship Lollipop" travels to a candy land. There is a direct reference to an aeroplane in the song: "Someday I'm going to fly/I'll be a pilot, too...".

God IS!

Despite of all the uproar, the malice that is taking place today...i've got two words for you, God IS!

Now carry on family, enjoy your weekend, no worries, no shame...

Just believe that GOD IS!

peace out, Miz

The Whole truth...and nothing but the TRUTH

Didn't want to go here

Tried my best to ignore it

But there was no way i could resist the temptation that is YOU!

You seep into my psyche, lay in my mind, embed yourself in my heart

Rendering thoughts, feelings, emotions, touch, life, love, that i have never known

You complete me

You make me believe

You are what i've desired since birth

You are the dream

You're my destiny

You are my heart

My truth

And i have no problem just waiting a little bit longer...on you.

I pray

I pray for those who don't pray for themselves

I pray for the homeless and the forgotten and the forsaken

I pray for my people who are suffering in their own minds

I pray for those who are suffering from mankind

I pray that we can truly see who we need to be

I pray that we can act on all those beliefs

I pray that our forgiveness is not limited but is unlimited

I pray that our passion and selfishness reaches beyond our realm

I pray that we learn from our mistakes

I pray that we act on our faith

I pray that our prayers are true and answered

And I pray that even when we don't get what we pray for in the time that we set that we keep praying.

I pray for this world and all of it's people

I pray for love to rule and eliminate hate

I pray for joy to ease every pain

I pray for peace to live amongst us all

I pray and i rejoice in knowing my prayers will be answered.

I pray for YOU!

It's never too late to pray.

Crate training or what confines you...yeah this is about me.

I got a new dog on last Thursday. She's a beauty. Very sweet, very loving, until she realized she wasn't going back home...that's when she changed.

yep, she changed into Kujo, or some other form of dog that just don't like you, and then she went from kujo to a mental patient on the 9th ward of Grady. This dog was so depressed that she wouldn't even look at me and didn't eat for 2 days. In fact, her depression made me depressed. She wouldn't come out of her crate. Her comfort zone. She didn't want to know me or my son. She wanted no part of us or our life. She would rather spend her time, alone in her crate...once again, her confort zone.

It was an epiphany. My dogs dilemna and mines. I didn't want to come out of my crate either. I would rather langer in my house, from work to home, maybe some fam in between, but nothing more. I was in my comfort zone...i felt safe here.

On Saturday, i had to step out of my comfort zone...had to venture into new territory with new people, new surroundings...and yes i was just as afraid as my dog Jazzy. I was anxious, and nervous, but i know now in the end it was all good. I had a good time. I stretched my legs, my mind, my heart and learned once again how to be apart of the real world. Sure, for me it was unconfortable, but in the end it helped me so much. Just like Jazzy, i'm learning to meet others, to love others, to be in the world, to be alive. I am not a recluse and i refuse to be one, or claim that life for me. Sure my domain holds much comfort...it is my safezone...but if i want to grow...and live...and thrive...i have to stretch my legs, my mind and my heart...and become more...even with my regrets, my history, what others may think about me...i need to be who i want to be in this day. Today!

Today...I am, I will be ME!

Surrender

repost

If i showed you the real me...the me you don't usually see.

Will you scream at my cocoa skin, or relish in the the skin i'm in.

Will you honor my honor, enjoy my intelligence, relish in my humuor...

or find fault.

Will you see my delight, glow in my brightness, become annoyed with my intelligence, find joy in my relevance...

Will you see me in you, you in me...our paths directed, changed, redirected for the utmost...will you accept me...raw, prepared, conditioned, god-given...?

Will you my love, know love when it's at your front door, lying on your lap, with lips pressed, will you question my honor then, or will you simply....surrender?

Looking out the window...

I sat quite peacefully looking out the window at the approaching storms or maybe not.

I viewed the flowers and the card then quietly turned the pages of my new Essence, careful not to awake her.

My mom slept very peacefully...even while i sat in the room. It was as if i provided her with apart of that peace, at least i hoped so.

I was lured by her sleep into my own peace, peace in knowing that i was there, peace in knowing that she was in good care. The kind of peace I've felt when my kids were just babies and i watched them fall asleep and never left...wanting to just hear their breathing and occasionally looking over at them to see their rising chests.

Peace

As we get older, i believe that the parent becomes the child and the child the parent...that is manifesting in my life now.

My mom is a very strong and independent woman and yet she defers to me (her youngest) in times of crisis, or indecision. I can't imagine what i would do without her.

I am honored to be her rock. For so many years she has carried me from birth, to infant, to child, to teen, to adult and so i owe her quite a bit of my life.

So, i just sit and wait for her to come home. Simply looking out the window...and enjoying the peace that resonates in this room.

I've got the whole world in my hands

"When i hold your hand...i've got the whole world in my hands"
Jaheim

When i first heard this song and the lyrics i was suddenly captured by his voice and the clear sincerity of a man who has finally found his true love. Standing at the alter face to face he confesses and professes of his great love and passion for his lady. He promises her a life of loyalty and understanding, trust and forgiveness. And then he says over and over..."When i hold your hand...i've go the whole world in my hands." It is this particular line that moves me almost to tears, because in those 13 words he has expressed what nearly every woman that wants to be in love want to hear and feel. There is not a day that this song is not played...and when i play it, i hit repeat, again and again.

Take a listen

Share In My Hands by Jaheim


Well, judge for yourself - In my hands - lyrics

In My Hands lyrics
I woke up on top of the world today
holding her hand she don t mind me leading the way
as long as I never let her fall
she wouldn t have to pull away
gipys woman can you read my palm
is my love line broken or is it lost
long as yours is inside of mine
words cannot define how it feels to be in love


my finger tips touch you soft girl
my two lips kissed truer then this
i doubt I find a love of this kind
cause when I hold your hand
I ve got the whole world in my hand
ever since the day you came across my path
oh baby that was the plann
what else could a man with all love his heart could stand
ever want for if the richest all around the land don t compare to the woman he has
I ve got the whole world in my hand



and here we stand the two of us face to face
staring at each other
me smiling you crying away
so long ago we both made plans to be together among days
and with those two words I vow to be
your protector your provider unconditionally
and never let go of your hand
you are my destiny

my finger tips touch you soft girl
my two lips kissed truer then this
i doubt I find a love of this kind
cause when I hold your hand
I ve got the whole world in my hand
ever since the day you came across my path
oh baby that was the plann
what else could a man with all love his heart could stand
ever want for if the richest all around the land don t compare to the woman he has
I ve got the whole world in my hand


beautiful in every way
promise not to let my heart ever stray
to give you piece of mind and never lie
and baby if you ever cry
every tear will dry
I am grateful and I'm reminded
that I see clear more precious than any diamond
cause something way bigger then us finds us
together we are classique and timeless
cause when I hold your hand

Sunday musings or what's on my mind right now...

Life begins today.

Yep, that is the thought that came to mind just a few moments ago. Each morning we are allowed to wake up and breathe air, is life. Life is also what you make of it and if you are living, breathing, then you have another day to, as some say "get it right". Each day we share is like adding especially prepared seasoning to a dish while cooking. Every spice, every herb, adds to the dish and when that dish is done, you will have created something wonderful.

What we do today, adds to the something wonderful WE are to become, so add some goodness to your life by doing good. Pay it forward.

Have a wonderful Sunday FAM and a blessed week!

Peace

My fantasy

It's your words that move me...
Have me grooving to a tune
A romantic groove under a glowing moon
I watch and wait
sit and bait
when you post your next musings
your verbage is soothing
to my inner soul
your pain excites
your joy ignites
with each verb, phrase, i inhale
waiting for you to expel
your inner workings
Cascading on a linear cloud
rising, suspended in a constant sense of anticipation
I am captured by you
I surrender, head in hand, heart tucked but willing to give it all in time
for one small piece
one special moment
Inside your mind

I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

They were a beautiful couple…everyone said so. Dressed to the nines whenever you seen them. He standing well over 6 feet, his hair manicured, his suit is impeccable…not the most attractive man and yet his look would compel most women and few men to stop and look. She was the epitome of womanhood, tall like him, long flowing hair, big eyes that seemed to dominate her small and yet angular face, with a model stance, she captured the imagination of everyone in her presence. They were the super couple, the beautiful ones.

Their passion for each other, fine things, food, drink and drugs almost ran interchangeably. He loved her, she loved him and they both loved to party. Partying is what they did best and yet it would always seem like the catalyst to every wrong that took place. Jealousy ran amok, while lines were snorted, and weed was smoked, the liquor flowing created the most intensifying atmosphere for their sparring.

Without notice she would slap him across the face, threatening, laughing, and enticing him to hit her back.

“You fuckin Bitch” he said and goes after her. “Come here, come here”.

“Fuck you motherfucker. Weak ass motherfucker” she said and ran.

The entire apartment turned into an amusement park, hell house with plenty of screams and sometime blood. But they loved each other and in love they remained. Their passion was too great, too much, too demanding to walk away, so they loved, and drank, and drugged and fought, and made love to the sounds of their pain, immersing in it. It seemed like the only thing that quenched their thirst.

The beautiful ones.

He lay up in the hospital where the nurses and doctor worked feverishly to save his life. He had been stabbed just a few inches from his heart…his life was at stake. She cried, said she didn’t mean it, said it would never happen again, brown-eyes with blue circles, red faced with blood on her hands, his blood.

Their passion and love for each other remains in their minds, in distant memories, in faded photographs.

Is there such a thing as too much love? Too much passion?

This is a true story.

Sunday musings or whats on my mind right now...

-Yesterday attended a beautiful wedding of my God Daughter Shelly

-Everything was so lovely, reminded me of what love really is and means

-The ex was there with his new wife. That didn't bother me much, was expecting it, just didn't expect for him not to speak to me.

-I had to say plenty of prayers to get me through the ceremony, since we sat side by side, with him grimacing as if he was sitting next to the Reaper.

-God got me through it, friends got me through it...22years and this is where we are at.

-When i did speak, his wife said hello, i thank her for that hello and the smile.

-So much going through my mind during this ceremony...a trip down memory lane for sure. This is where we started...this is where we are. God why?

-I was too exhausted to visit the fam after...needed peace, needed relaxation and a chance to get back to what i know.

-When does love turn to hate and why?

-I am moving forward with strength and faith. The Devil is a liar...I am worthy and when all was lost God saw the best in me and still does.

-I woke up with a new attitude, a new desire to do more, be more. After my morning coffee i decided to do a photoshoot...i am happy with the outcome.

-Never let anyone tear you down or make you feel less than you are...you are Beautiful.

-My God Daughters dad hugged me and told me how grateful he was that i was in his daughters life and pressed upon me to take care of his children. I am honored and grateful.

-I've known her since she was a little baby, now a grown woman, so beautiful to witness her growing into adulthood.

-So many more events to come, more graduations, more weddings, some births...hoping that the ex loses his grimace and adopts a face of peace and joy.

-Life goes on...peace lives on, if you let it. I'm at peace with our separation, just wishing he was there too!

-Sunday is my day to reflect, to spend many moments in meditation before the work week. Can't say that this has been the best weekend i have ever had, but i guess one that was needed, one i couldn't avoid, despite the festivities i'm glad it's over...glad i can move on.

Can i get whoo whoo?

The dating game is a serious mess these days. No since pondering on it, it is what it is...a game.

So many sisters wanting and needing, so many brothers breeding (lol) well not all of y'all but it it seems like dogs in heat out here.


Ima take a break from it all...why u may ask, well cuz, if it ain't no quality in the mix then i'm not down for the occasional. It seems that this has become acceptable in my parts, so many choices and less decisions, and so...i have decided to wait. WAIT for what you may ask? Wait for something more...

Something special

Something that means something

Someone i can depend on

Someone i can give myself to

Someone i can love unconditionally

That something that sticks to the bones

That someone that will have me dreaming at night and waking in the morning thinking of him.

Yeah, i ain't got nuthin but time on my hands, and with time i can only work to make me better...better for that one.

Can i get a whoo whoo...for my boo, my man, my king.

just saying...i rather wait on YOU!

Full Circle

Coming full circle...

That is how i feel about my life and the journey i'm on right now...it's as if the planets have once again realigned and i'm not on the bottom anymore. Sure there are so many things i want to take place, so much i want and need but at this point and time i really feel the winds shifting in my direction, in a positive direction. I am feeling so good about my family and my friends, and even more about my near future. I have no definites, and yet i am feeling good with the possibles.

Life has a way of making us grow...it is like anything...if you plant your seeds, water them on the daily, give it a dose of nourishment, it will grow...your ideas, your love, your joy, your peace...all reaches new heights. I am in that place now. I am happy to be in that place too! This journey for me has been going on for the last 4 years...from the bottom to the top...oh i'm not at my TOP yet, but i can see it coming.

Life is good and it keeps getting better!

Don't ever give up FAM! There is always a rainbow at the end of your storms...and believe it or not...at some point your LIFE comes Full Circle.